They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
