Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
