that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
