I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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