Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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