facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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