is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
