dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Randomize
