this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
