dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
