a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
