I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
