I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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