This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
