Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
