i'm signing you up for texting rehab
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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