i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he fucked my hip out of place.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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