ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
