i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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