could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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