i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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