whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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