The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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