Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
