4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
