Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
