oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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