i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
