Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize