DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I need to calm my uterus...
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize