East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
