Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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