Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
