Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
