So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
