Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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