I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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