Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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