We're like a lot better than the average bears
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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