i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
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At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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