No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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