quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
