...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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