How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
