I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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