Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
