Jerry, you need to find god
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
