Are we in a gay sports bar?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
