he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
