I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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