You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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