Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
