one two three fourrrrnication!
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
