do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You can't motorboat a personality
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
