Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Never joke about your clitoris.
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