I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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