I hate all girls vehemently.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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