But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
